A new trend is rising among teens. Everybody has read the news that a few young children committed suicide, guided by a video game. We hear news that teens are committing suicide because their parents stopped them from posting photos on social media. Some take extreme steps because their peers ignore them or they don’t get likes on social media. The younger generation is not generally concerned about what people think, but the same drive for social validation has taken a different form. Now people seek validation through social media. Trolling on social media really disturbs people. Their image on social media is very dear to them.

People in their 40s, 50s, and 60s still care a lot about what those around them think. They may do anything to maintain an image of being good. They may even host parties for their children’s weddings using borrowed money so people don’t say anything bad about them. They will try to hide the divorce in the family. They will try to hide family matters from those around them and project an image of a perfect family. The younger generation isn’t very concerned about the people around them. They don’t interact much and generally prefer to stay inside. They want to grow up, move away, and build their own ecosystem of friends and like-minded people, rather than seek validation from neighbours in their hometowns.

But if we set the finer nuances aside and look at the substance, the desire for that validation remains. If not through neighbours and relatives, then through social media. While most people seek that validation, a few were not concerned at all. If you read a few couplets by Kabir or Rahim, you’ll find they were quite rebellious. They did not give a damn about the social standards and norms and challenged everything.

कबीरा खड़ा बाज़ार में, मांगे सबकी खैर।
ना काहू से दोस्ती, ना काहू से बैर॥

How could people like Kabir challenge every norm of their time and undertake that inner journey without doubt, while most of us get afraid? Why do we have such a strong desire to see that validation? Where does it come from? Why do children take extreme steps when they are trolled on social media? Because we are so disconnected from within. When we are not happy inside, we look outside for it. The problem is that they have no one to look forward to. Parents are also equally disconnected. They have no role model to follow.

Either we can stand on our own, or we can take support from something. The moment we rely on something, we become as strong as that support. The person who provides the support gains control over us because they can withdraw it at any time. Also, we never know how reliable that support is. When we don’t work on our inner self and seek validation from the people around us or on social media, we make ourselves vulnerable. It may look exciting at first, but it’s a trap. It’s intoxicating, and every high is followed by a hangover. Every time, we need a higher dose to get the same pleasure, and that’s why it’s very risky.

Human life holds huge potential, and many people have used it to create amazing things. The inventors of social media themselves avoid it because they know the dangers. While guiding the children, parents will have to understand the fundamental cause of the addiction. Mere preaching won’t help. They need to understand the root cause and help children address it. Until we connect with that inner being, how will we guide our kids? In this age of information, that inner connection can’t rest on mythology and ritual. It has to be real. Today’s children aren’t frightened by ghosts or the fury of the Gods. They want to talk logic, and that is where rituals have to give way to spirituality. That’s the most wonderful thing about these times. The stage is all set; we just have to play our role.